This is a Thursday snack. This is not a snack for Tuesday, when you still have energy and the world is bright. This is an oh-my-god-how-isn't-the-week-over-yet snack, an I-don't-want-to-do-work-but-I-do-want-to-hurt-someone snack, a feed-me-now-before-I-eat-your-face-and-not-in-the-sexy-way snack. Like all good things in life, it's simple, it's fast, and it involves stabbing. All you need is an avocado and some vinegar.

First, halve your avocado and discard the pit. (Or just use the half that doesn't have a pit in it, if you're only eating half an avocado.)

Next, take a spoon or knife and stab the avocado. Stab it good. Take all of your Thursday feelings out on it. (But not too hard if you're using a knife, because I'd rather not be responsible for any digital loss.) Try to make your cuts intersect as much as possible. If you're the tidy type, you can also make a neat little crisscross pattern with a knife, but that's not as much fun.

Once your avocado has been wounded beyond all hope of recovery, pour balsamic vinegar into the hole where the pit was. (Of course, you can use another vinegar if you prefer a little more tartness.) Let it spread through the avocado, following the paths you created for it.


At this point you can sprinkle some salt on top, but that's totally optional. An avocado has a built-in bowl, so all that's left is to take a spoon and dig in.